If You’re Thinking of Separation or Divorce…..

By: Kenneth Neumann

If you have decided to separate or divorce, mediation is the better alternative to costly legal battles. Here are answers to questions people often ask about divorce mediation.

Why Choose Divorce Mediation?

Separation and divorce are among the most painful and disruptive events and individual and family can experience. Tension quickly develops when divorce is contemplated. The problems are both financial and emotional, deeply touching all members of the family.

Mediation aims at reducing this tension, not increasing it. With the help of the mediator, couples negotiate their own settlement and learn the techniques for resolving future differences. Mediation is for couples who want to retain control over the decisions that affect their lives and don’t want their children caught in the middle.

Mediation is not or couples who already know how to cooperate. Mediators show people how to work together productively in spite of their anger.

During mediation other professional services are sometimes needed. The Center maintains a wide network of consultants including accountants, lawyers, financial planners, career counselors, psychotherapists and child psychologists.

How Does Divorce Mediation Work?

In Divorce Mediation, a specially trained mediator will help you and your spouse work together to reach an agreement. Mediators help couples separate their spousal role, which is ending, from their parental role, which is continuing. Couples learn to evaluate their present financial condition and to provide for their future financial needs.

With the mediator’s help, agreements can be reached to handle both immediate and long range concerns. The mediator will focus on the relevant issues and help identify possible options. You will actively participate in the negotiations leading to reasonable solutions and a mutually satisfactory agreement that considers the needs of the family members.

The divorce mediator’s job is to help a couple arrive at a fair and satisfactory settlement, with no winner or loser. The mediator is not an advocate for either party and does not make any decisions. Instead, the mediator helps the couple explore all the options and their consequences. The mediator works to ensure that neither party gives away too much, nor dominates the other. Even though one party is more powerful or a better negotiator, the mediator helps balance the power.

Mediation is also for couples who do not have children or whose children are grown.

Will I Need an Attorney?

After mediation, an attorney case consultant will draft the legal agreement which becomes a binding contract. Most often each party then has the agreement reviewed by their own independent attorney before signing it. The agreement may then be used as the basis for an uncontested divorce.

What Points are Decided?

Division of Property

Parenting Arrangements

Child Support

Spousal Maintenance (Alimony)

Tax Implications

Ways to Avoid Future Problems

What Are The Steps Involved?

At the first session the mediation proves is explained in detail. After this, the couple, with the help of a mediator, begin to discuss their concerns. The they gather any necessary financial data. Step by Step, they make decisions about the type of agreement they want. During this process, care is taken to make sure that the needs of all family members are considered.

These mediation sessions usually last from one to two hours. Once a tentative agreement has been reached, a formal agreement is drafted by an attorney case consultant.

How Long Does It Take And What Is The Cost?

Sessions are usually scheduled a week or two apart. While it can take as little as two hours, the average length of time it takes to reach an agreement is 6-12 hours. Unlike the court process, mediation does not drag on indefinitely. Mediation time is charged on an hourly basis. Fees are based on a sliding scale. The cost for a mediated settlement, including the cost of attorney review, will usually be less than the cost of a litigated settlement.

What Are The Benefits?

While the goal of mediation is to produce agreement, mediation also:

Takes less time, so you can move ahead with your life.

Costs less.

Allows you to control the decisions that affect your life.

Benefits children and others by reducing conflict.

Avoids public disclosure of financial and personal matters because it is confidential.

Promotes communication and cooperation.

For more information you can contact Kenneth Neumann at 800-61-DIVORCE or by email at KenNeumann@TeamMediation.org.