Mediation is recommended for parents who are in conflict, each taking a position with regard to a parenting plan. They are unable to negotiate between themselves without the discussion deteriorating and hostility rising. They need a “go-between”, to keep them on track and the discussion appropriate. Mediation can be helpful with low to moderate degrees of conflict. Depending on the skills of the mediator and resolve of the parents, mediation can also work in high conflict situations. Depending on the issues at hand, a mediator with training and knowledge of child development and family issues may offer input or direction to guide the process of negotiation. In the end, parents remain in control of the outcome. (Click here to continue)

Mediation is a problem-solving approach to negotiation. The mediator will be trying to convert your issues into problems to be solved, and then try to help you develop the best options for solving those problems. The problems of parenting are posed as a series of questions. How do you develop a method of making decisions for the children? How do you create a schedule that meets the needs of each of you and the children? The economic issues are also restated as problems to be solved. How do you distribute family income so that all family members can thrive? How do you increase income and/or reduce expenses to balance expenses and income? In all these questions, there is neither a single answer nor are there infinite possibilities. The mediator will push you each to define a broad enough range of options so that you can find common ground. The mediator will also help you evaluate the options. Sometimes she will suggest that you consult outside experts on how well one option works as compared to another. For example, a child psychologist can help you evaluate how long a young child can go without seeing her mother or her father without suffering undue anxiety. Children's sense of time changes with age, and if the issue is how a child at a particular stage of development can manage a challenge, the expert will provide help in evaluating the alternatives.
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If you have decided to separate or divorce, mediation is the better alternative to costly legal battles. Separation and divorce are among the most painful and disruptive events an individual and family can experience. Tension quickly develops when divorce is contemplated. The problems are both financial and emotional, deeply touching all members of the family.

Mediation aims at reducing this tension, not increasing it. With the help of the mediator, couples negotiate their own settlement and learn the techniques for resolving future differences. Mediation is for couples who want to retain control over the decisions that affect their lives and don’t want their children caught in the middle.
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If you are going through a divorce or are having a custody or visitation dispute, mediation is an option you should consider. When you go to court, a judge who doesn’t know you or your children makes decisions about how you’re all going to share your time. The outcomes are usually pretty scripted without a lot of creativity. Mediation puts the power back into the hands of the parents.

In mediation, the parents meet with a neutral mediator (who usually has background as a lawyer or therapist). The mediator helps the two parents find solutions that work for their lives, instead of making those decisions for them as a judge would do. The mediator encourages you to look at the situation from all angles, think of possible solutions, and compromise to reach decisions that work for your family. If you have teens, the mediator may encourage them to participate in a session and express their opinions about the parenting schedule. (Click here to continue)