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By Susan DeitzTHURSDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2006 One Night Stranded Should Tell Woman Something DEAR SUSAN: I am 45 and soon to be divorced. I raised three children, who are now grown and married. My husband and I grew apart in the last years of the marriage, and I've been celibate for two years. Lately, though, I've been feeling very alive and sensual. Recently, I asked a wonderful single man I know if he'd consider a few hours of "pleasure," no strings attached. He said he would, but then he changed his mind. He didn't give a reason. How do I ask another man in a way that won't get me rejected again? - Desperate to Feel Like a Woman. Long Island, N.Y. DEAR DESPERATE: You don't. Take a cue from this wonderful man and his second thoughts and stop and think this through. This is a delicate phase you're going through, a mixture of all sorts of feelings and moods, a time for clear thinking. Your idea of going from man to man, asking for sex, shows me anything but. The next time you're feeling supersensual, let a cold shower remind you that a period of celibacy can be extremely creative and fulfilling, and that channeling your libido into self-expression can make you feel more of a woman than any amount of loveless sex. Give it a try. The offer comes with no strings. Write to Susan Deitz c/o DivorceInteractive.com,
94 Second Street, Mineola, N.Y. 11501. She will answer all letters that come
with a self-addressed, stamped envelope.
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 25, 2006 Unload Baggage Before Manhunt DEAR SUSAN: I'm divorced five years and haven't dated anyone since. I am overweight, but people say I'm still very pretty. I also have two kids. My question is, are there really men out there who will accept me for what I am? If so, where? And please don't tell me they're at church; everyone there is getting married. - Jennifer J., Indianapolis DEAR JENNIFER: Unless your church has a singles' group (starting one with your priest's help could be a good way to meet local eligibles), my first thought (always the best one) is to point you toward a nearby health club. There may be some appealing eligibles there, but your main goal is to drop the excess baggage. Who needs it? Include your kids in your new fitness goals so the three of you can learn about food and fitness as partners. They'll love being part of your life . . . and you can be sure they'll admire your self-improvement program. Announce it at a family council, and watch them smile. After you've signed up, bring them to the health club, and let them try out the equipment with you. In other words, stop making your life a manhunt, and make your kids top priority. This a chance to show them a mom who's enjoying spending Saturday nights with them. As for men accepting you, well, it takes getting your life in order so you will accept yourself. In the words of a California reader, "Big, small and medium women who smile at a man and aren't afraid to show they like him are still in demand everywhere." That's straight from the horse's mouth. Write to Susan Deitz c/o DivorceInteractive.com,
94 Second Street, Mineola, N.Y. 11501. She will answer all letters that come
with a self-addressed, stamped envelope. Listen to Susan Deitz' guest appearance on "Divorce Talk" DivorceInteractive.com tries to provide quality information, but cannot guarantee the accuracy, completeness or adequacy of the information, opinions or other content posted on the site. It is not intended as a substitute for and should not be relied upon as legal, financial, accounting, tax, medical or other professional advice. It should not be construed as establishing a professional-client or professional-patient relationship. The applicability of legal principles is subject to amendment by the legislature, interpretation by the courts and different application by different judges and may differ substantially in individual situations or different states. Before acting on what you have read, it is important to obtain appropriate professional advice about your particular situation and facts. Access to and use of DivorceInteractive.com is subject to additional Terms and Conditions. DivorceInteractive.com is a secure site and respects your Privacy. Home |
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